looking back at my past postings on here...i guess this whole thing that happened to me is partly my fault...unfortunately. mr D, in the past, has always been wishy washy. i ignored the signs. his personality was already showing then, but i turned a blind eye, maybe hoping it will get better. maybe because he misled me too that he might change? i dunno...maybe.
for reasons i really won't know anymore...i dunno why he would still want to hold on after i broke up with him. he said he didn't want it to end. i asked him to prove it to me but he doesn't even know where to start. so it is for my best benefit that i completely let him go because if i were in his shoes and someone is already throwing himself at my feet, i would try to do whatever it takes to keep that person from leaving me again...if i love that person.
i guess he says he loves me, but he really doesn't.
did i love him? absolutely. but if i'm not gonna be loved in return, there is no point staying in that relationship. i can be a martyr for some other purposes...but not when it comes to an intimate relationship. it has to be a two-way thing....no matter what happens.
p.s. in reference to my previous post on "a better day"...i SHOULD NOT contact him to apologize. i think i've done that enough. there...i got it down in writing. if i do otherwise...if anyone's reading this, please slap me. thank u. lol.
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