Friday, May 21, 2010

partly my fault (last post about mr D, hopefully)

looking back at my past postings on here...i guess this whole thing that happened to me is partly my fault...unfortunately. mr D, in the past, has always been wishy washy. i ignored the signs. his personality was already showing then, but i turned a blind eye, maybe hoping it will get better. maybe because he misled me too that he might change? i dunno...maybe.

for reasons i really won't know anymore...i dunno why he would still want to hold on after i broke up with him. he said he didn't want it to end. i asked him to prove it to me but he doesn't even know where to start. so it is for my best benefit that i completely let him go because if i were in his shoes and someone is already throwing himself at my feet, i would try to do whatever it takes to keep that person from leaving me again...if i love that person.

i guess he says he loves me, but he really doesn't.

did i love him? absolutely. but if i'm not gonna be loved in return, there is no point staying in that relationship. i can be a martyr for some other purposes...but not when it comes to an intimate relationship. it has to be a two-way thing....no matter what happens.

p.s. in reference to my previous post on "a better day"...i SHOULD NOT contact him to apologize. i think i've done that enough. there...i got it down in writing. if i do otherwise...if anyone's reading this, please slap me. thank u. lol.

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