i miss u blog

it's been over a month since i last posted anything here. work got me crazy busy...which is a good thing of course. so many things happened (and not happened) in the past month.

1) i started a new job that pays very well and the work itself doesn't require too much thinking. it gives me a little bit more brain power to divert to other things, like planning my marketing, etc.

2) i passed my last major exam to qualify as a money guy. i got lucky with this one. i barely read the book (only the first 3 chapters) but i passed.

3) i met someone, though far away again...ugh...just my luck. and i thought i would not entertain anyone who lives more than 50 miles away from me. i guess one can't help who u like.

so, that's about it for now. i think i'll write a bit more once i get my schedule down. maybe i'll write little things through my phone so i don't ever forget to put something down, which is my purpose for writing this blog.

a poem i wrote about how deutsche might feel

Will the Coming Days Pass Me By Without Your Love?
by Jake

I've longed for you, all this time
but never did i say a word, figured you'd frown
until a subtle message arrived, after months gone by
from you, a person i've always admired, a person i'd like to love.

what started from a message, turned into conversations
it lasted for hours and continued on for days
your voice, so gentle, so masculine, so true
a soothing and caressing sound that moves.

i saw you from afar, but i knew i won't matter
until i try to come and heal your broken heart
i arrived at your door, realized how true a person you are
wondered when i'll be able to call you mine.

would you think of me and tell me good morning when u wake up?
would your laughter be the same without mine?
will my days be as exciting without the adventures you have in mind?
will the coming days pass me by without your love?

when i left confused, i longed for you ever more
i waited for your return, hoping that your heart tags along
after obstacles threatened your arrival, i welcomed you with open arms
with a leap of faith, i took a risk, professed my love in ways i know best.

wanting, hoping, praying, longing, every minute and every second
seemed like eternity waiting for the words to come
and now you leave me, with nothing more than an empty heart
to go back where you came from and start a new beginning.

would my nights ever be the same without you by my side?
would you long for my warm body next to yours as you retire?
would my house ever become a home, without the sound of you prancing about?
will the coming days pass me by without your love?

flight out of florida - the beginning of the end?

my trip has come to an end. here i am, sitting at the airport in orlando, waiting to board. i got dropped off about 2 hours ago by deutsche who, until the last minute has been attempting to make me agree to be in a relationship. he even quipped about a netflix type deal where we can be on a 2-week trial. i laughed my ass off. at the same time, i got worried -- more for him because he's here by himself with no family for support.

what to do...what to do...i know i can't commit to another long distance relationship after a failed one. the distance will kill me...and i might not be as faithful as i would like to be, especially since i don't love him yet. i think it's better this way. we're not official yet. but the door is still open. i would really like us to be good friends even if we don't end up together.

this florida trip is a mixed bag of feelings...from guilt, to happiness, to sadness. but i'm glad i came out or else i would have committed myself again to someone i don't love...settling for someone instead of being with someone.

the jigsaw puzzle is finally coming together

first the interview, then i passed my series 7 exam...and yesterday...i got the call that i got the job!

the good thing too is that the target start date is not until july 12. meaning, i can still go on my florida trip without feeling guilty about deutsche paying for the cancellation of my ticket. not to mention, i was going to pay him that money anyway someday even though he said not to worry about it. what a big sigh of relief! the last remaining piece of the puzzle is the series 66 exam that i scheduled for july 17 (a saturday! so i don't have to call in sick at the new job after all). if i pass it, then more doors will open for me as far as options.

i'm just really glad i didn't have to take my remaining savings out of my annuity...otherwise, i'll pay more taxes again and my commission for that sale will be reversed.

tue june 29 workout

swimming

120 total laps

200m free warm up
4x4x100 (1600 total) free, breast, back, fly
400m free swim
14x50 free sprint
4x25 free sprint no breathing

weights

shoulders

3 super sets behind the neck -- 45/40/35 lbs 6/8/10 reps side deltoid raise 17.5 lbs 10 reps
3 super sets overhead press -- 45/40/35 lbs 6/8/10 reps front deltoid raise 17.5 lbs 10 reps
3 sets shoulder shrug -- 45 lbs 10 reps

arms

triceps

3 sets rope pulldown 90/85/80 lbs 6/8/8 reps

biceps

3 sets bicep raise 80/75/70 6/8/10 reps

fri june 25 workout

swimming

120 total laps

4 500x200 alternate, free/choice
4x50 sprints, free

weights

chest/back (machines)

4 sets each, 2 workouts per body part

new technique - heaviest weight that i can do for 6 repetitions going to lightest weight increasing repetitions

tue june 22 workout

swimming

120 total laps

400m free warm up
6x200 choice/free alternate swim
8x100 4x100 free 4x100 choice
12x50 sprints

weights

biceps/triceps

3 mega sets, 2 tri/1 bi
3 sets tri pulldown
3 sets bi machine

shoulders

2 super sets behind the neck/side pull up
2 super sets overhead/front pull up