i read my message exchange with mr D on facebook last february and it almost made me cry. this love story of ours is one of the saddest ever for me, i swear. he said this at the end of his first message, "
Aunque usted no lo crea, esta es una de las cosas más difíciles que he tenido que hacer. Eres completamente maravilloso y me mata que las cosas no son lo que yo quiero que sean."
which means
"Although you may not believe this is one of the hardest things I had to do. You are completely awesome, and it kills me that things are not what I want to be."
and his last message after mine, he said, "Although I doubt you will like me when we meet next month.. I hope I get to see you finally. You're one of a kind *Jake.. and you deserve the best.. never forget that."
* * *
i know in my heart now that mr D and i would not have worked right now however which way i look at it. the only way to do this was to end it. but i guess i didn't end it on a good note. so, after saying those few mean words last sat night, i felt compelled to take it all back and apologize. it shouldn't have been that way at all. i know i'll need a lot of time apart from him so i can get over this love that i untimely feel for him.
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