first lunch, then a movie

my anxiety came to a stop when knox tapped me on my shoulder. he came up from behind me as i was standing outside a store at the mall. he looked almost exactly like his pictures -- tall, sexy, a little rough looking. i wasn't quite sure if the chemistry was there right away. i was so shy i could hardly look him in the eye.

we only had an hour to chill. we went downstairs to the food court to grab something to eat. as i paid for my stuff, i noticed this Godiva chocolate pearl that they had on display (for impulse buyers like me). i grabbed one, not for me, but for knox. he mentioned that he does have a sweet tooth.

lunch was casual. we just chatted our hearts out while eating. i was having soup and avocado rolls. i should've just bought the soup so i had time to talk instead of chewing the whole time. few more bites...and then it's time to go. i guess time flies when you're having fun.

i walked him back to his work and said our goodbyes. we didn't set any future date to meet again. i guess, if we were gonna start as friends, setting future meet ups won't really matter as we're only a text message/phone call away from each other. we gave each other a nice tight hug and i slid the chocolate in his pocket. i told him that'll keep him occupied when he's bored at work.

i walked back to the store. i just walked around for a bit before going home. i almost got sold a teeth whitening package too. i wasn't sure if he was glad to have met me coz he hasn't sent a message yet. usually, people would have sent a message saying, "it was nice to meet you today." or something like that. i sent him a message. no response. i wasn't tripping or anything since it's only our first meeting. but he did response later on. maybe he was just busy or something.

the usual happened as i was travelling back to my house. we would be messaging each other again back and forth. i guess sometimes, my messages are starting to be a bit more forthcoming than before -- giving him compliments and saying nicer things about him. and then the big question came..."when are we meeting up again?" i asked if thursday or friday would be good. he agreed to thursday. we're going to have dinner/light snacks and watch a movie.

that's tomorrow. i'm still with dj...technically. i'm trying to find the right words to let him go without hurting him too much. but i guess no matter how i try, it will still hurt him. it is best to do it sooner than later coz i really haven't seen enough effort on his part anyway. i have not talked to dj for about 3 days now, only text messages. for a boyfriend, that seems kind of unusual, like we're so detached from each other now. i hope he would take me as a friend still. i still care for him and i would still want to be there for him if he needs help. he's still a young man and has not had too many challenges in life yet other than maybe a school final he hasn't fully prepared for. the least i can do is be some sort of a leader for him, since i happen to have experienced so much in life that it pays for people to learn from my experiences.

i think i should do it tomorrow, before i meet up with knox. so that way, i won't feel guilty that i'm hiding something from both of them.