a pattern of behavior emerges

my boy called me jack. i had to ask why, even though i really know the answer. i guess i just want to hear what someone has to say about me. it's always good to have a third person critique us from time to time.

usually, we're more critical of ourselves than others are of us. my criticism of me...it sucks to be smart+more. wondering about the +more? here, let me help you out.

• i'm attractive - the usual tall, dark and handsome guy next door (not Brad Pitt by all means but can turn heads here and there)
  
• i'm athletic - i was a jock during my entire school life
• i'm a good chef/cook - i can whip up a great dish for a main course or a few desserts

just looking at that, i think i have become a jack of all trades, but master of none. because of what i know (or think i know) my interests have varied wildly. one day, i would think about becoming a doctor. another day, a police officer. and yet another day, a businessman. what do i really want to become? beats me. if i know the answer to this question, i would've been doing something that i'm really passionate about by now. and with the least complaints.

not that i'm complaining now...but i seem to know a little bit of everything. and it is scary. i really don't know how to focus on one thing and stick with it. i'm scared that i would eventually be too old to go to school to earn a degree on something that i really like. or that it might be too late to switch to another career without jeopardizing my future retirement.

i'll try to analyze this eventually but for now i'll list some questions that i need to ask myself.

• do i care what other people really think about me?
• am i worried about the future more than the present?
• what have i done in the past that made me feel happy and fulfilled?
• what have i done in the past that made me feel otherwise?
• do i listen to others more than myself?
• what is it that i do best? worst?

i guess that's enough questions for now. i need some rest.