honesty...is such a lonely word...

...everyone is so untrue.

when i was trying to break into the investment/insurance side of the financial business, i kept being told by my friend how easy it is to do his job, to meet the goals and to sell the products. i found out the hard way that it's really not as easy as it looks. even though i was sort of prepared for the worst if i didn't make any money for a year, i just wished that he and the manager that hired me would have been completely honest about the pitfalls of the job.

there are 2 main things that caused my problems today.

#1) they both convinced me to sign up full time almost immediately after i met my minimum goal. my fault was that i didn't do a more extensive research about the position. what they missed telling me was that to get the allowance the company promised, i need to sell immediately.

the main problem here is that to sell immediately is not an easy task. i have to spend so much time, energy and money to build a pipeline of prospective clients to see. i had to quit after 4 months of doing it because the money i saved was meant to last my bills for a year. with the money i spend on marketing, i will burn through that money in 8 months or less.

#2) the biggest and most important information that they withheld was about the tax situation. i wish one of them would have been honest enough to encourage me to check a tax professional and find out how being self-employed will affect my tax situation.

this one i just found out literally a few hours before writing this blog. my expertise is on financial services and not tax situations, even though i've prepared my family's taxes over the years using a tax software. that said, i have no clue how certain actions that i take affect my taxes. the 2009 tax year is the most confusing for me so far. i was an employee for about 4 months of the year and a self-employed individual for 5 months. i kept all my receipts knowing i might need it to itemize deductions. little did i know that i can only take either a standard deduction or itemized deduction. and since my business expenses are lower than the standard deduction, i'll have to take the latter. so when i was looking at my tax bill to see if it was gonna make a difference and it didn't flinch, i almost cried. i almost cried because i was both mad and sad. mad for being in a situation that is not 100% my doing, sad because i was dumb enough not to do enough to prevent it. i was also mad coz i spent so many days this week trying to gather my paperwork and organize my expenses on a spreadsheet.

however, whatever happened has happened. all i can do now is just focus on my future action plan. this experience will just add to my arsenal of stories to share to my future clients and be a better financial advisor.