Saturday, July 10, 2010

flight out of florida - the beginning of the end?

my trip has come to an end. here i am, sitting at the airport in orlando, waiting to board. i got dropped off about 2 hours ago by deutsche who, until the last minute has been attempting to make me agree to be in a relationship. he even quipped about a netflix type deal where we can be on a 2-week trial. i laughed my ass off. at the same time, i got worried -- more for him because he's here by himself with no family for support.

what to do...what to do...i know i can't commit to another long distance relationship after a failed one. the distance will kill me...and i might not be as faithful as i would like to be, especially since i don't love him yet. i think it's better this way. we're not official yet. but the door is still open. i would really like us to be good friends even if we don't end up together.

this florida trip is a mixed bag of feelings...from guilt, to happiness, to sadness. but i'm glad i came out or else i would have committed myself again to someone i don't love...settling for someone instead of being with someone.

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