looking back...only to learn from it

wow, it's been almost 3 years exactly since i wrote something here! i should do this more often so i know my state of thinking when i make decisions about something...so here i go...

...i hate it when i look back at what i've done in the past and blame everyone, including myself, for any failures that happened along the way. i always have to remind myself that i only look back so i can learn from past mistakes, in order to plan better for the future.

analyzing what happened in my life from the beginning of the year, i can see a lot of positives and negatives that came with it. one major decision that i had to do is quitting my current stable job for a not-so-stable commission only job. this had a major impact in my lifestyle this year so far.

why did i quit anyway? #1 reason...i don't like some of my co workers. i work hard (as i always do with every job i've had) but it seems like nothing is good enough for them. i get in trouble with every little thing that i do, or don't do. #2 reason...the job is so easy it's making my brain stagnate.

i thought i had made a good effort researching the companies where i was planning to work for. i interviewed with 2 good companies. ended up joining one that gives some allowance if i make some sales. apparently not the smartest move because the sales are not so easy to come by anyway. i kind of joined this company blindly based on its strength and stability. i should have researched further -- interviewed some people who works or have worked there, worked part time first to test the waters, asked questions.

what happened now?

well...i quit that too. since the sales are so hard to come by, i figured this company would be a better fit for someone who already has experience. i'm not the most pushy salesperson out there. i should've known better...i should've known that the way i've always done sales, is by providing service first. when you work for a company that expects sales right off the bat, there is no time to provide any service. you just go and sell. that's not me. so i quit. i wasn't about to stay on and see how it works while it drains my savings. i made the same mistake before and i'm not about to do it again.

so before quitting this one, i interviewed with 2 companies. one company, i interviewed 2 different people doing 2 different things. i liked the first person mainly because he seems like an easy person to work with, seems honest enough, answered a lot of my questions and he was cute. the second person i liked better though because she gave me a lot of information, both good and bad, about the company. she wants me to make an informed decision whichever way i end up. the second company was also good because they provide leads. it gives me a good head start. and my friend's dad works for this company and has been there for 20 something years. now that says something about a company. i was going to join this company before because i trust my friend more than any stranger. the only thing they don't provide is the allowance. but since they provide me with possible clients, it's worth more to me than the allowance. the good thing that came about me joining the big company first is that now, i have a little bit more experience about the business. and i was able to get an idea of how to market myself in case i run out of leads.

if this still doesn't work, then i don't think that i am for a commission only business. maybe i'll need to set up my own business or just be a career guy.